Premium Grass Touching is exactly what it sounds like but done properly. If you are stuck inside, burnt out or just chronically online, you can hire me to go outside and physically touch grass on your behalf. Using my right hand, tattoo and all, I will find a solid patch, not sad dry sidewalk grass but actual respectable greenery, and press my hand into it like a responsible representative of humanity. Afterward you will receive a real field report. What it felt like. The temperature. Whether the ground was cool or sun warmed. If there was wind. If the air smelled like rain or freshly cut lawn. If the moment felt grounding or slightly transcendent. This service is for anyone who needs proof that the outside world still exists and that someone is out there making contact with it. Additional packages are available. Email for details. Premium Grass Touching. Right Hand Edition. Done with intention. Done with dignity.
1 hour
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Milwaukie, Oregon, US
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